The Buddha, himself, sees to have no interest in romance, so it doesnt occur to apply any Buddhist dating principles. However, if one were to realize that enlightenment does not discriminate, that an enlightened being would carry that enlightenment throughout his or her life, one must realize that dating would not be exempt from the grace of Buddhahood. So, this top four list involves the most famous of Buddhist precepts: the four noble truths. It also involves a precept from one of the most popular and well respected sutras of Buddhism: The Lotus Sutra.
So, when it comes to dating, what would the Buddha do?
Buddhist dating 1st noble truth: Life is suffering
Living is synonymous with suffering. That is, if you’re alive, you are going to have problems. Of course, most of us are not suffering at all moments. This truth means that, in this world, we have to make constant efforts to avoid discomfort and misfortune; it doesn’t just come to us. When applied to dating, then, we have to realize that finding a significant other is difficult. Sometimes, we find those we think are significant others and give them labels like “soul mate” or “the one,” only to be let down in the end. As pessimistic as it may sound, we have to keep this in mind. Although we can be superstars , major “Playas” in the game, the game can be quite unfair and the playing field can be quite harsh. So, get all romanticized, idealized situations out of your head when entering the dating scene. If everything were that peachy keen, there would not be any love stories.
Buddhist dating 2nd noble truth: Suffering is caused by desire
Yep, we suffer because we desire so much. When we desire something, we feel a kind of pain in wanting something we don’t have. What’s more, we may feel a sharper pain when we strive for something without attaining it. The same goes for the dating scene. To many, life sucks because of what they DO NOT have: this includes a significant other. So, to confine this idea to the dating scene, the pain of not having somebody is caused by the desire to have somebody. This seems obvious, but think about it. If we could simply not desire so much, things would not be so hard. We would relax a bit and go about the dating scene with a lets see what happens attitude. But I’ll let the third noble truth expound on that.
Buddhist dating 3rd noble truth: Pain ceases when desire ceases
This may sound quite paradoxical, but the way to go about getting something is to not want it so badly. This is actually a common thought in the dating scene. How many times have you heard a person say that when he or she stopped looking, that special someone came along? Once the need to have a romantic interest ceased, the pain of not having a romantic relationship ceased. This lack of pain opened the door for more pleasure, which consciously and subconsciously attracts good things like, for instance, a romantic partner.
Buddhist dating 4th noble truth: The way to end desire
What all this boils down to is thinking the right things while acting the right way. In other words, the key to squelching desire is to be so cool you do not need anything else that may be a more palatable way to interpret this.