“Sikh dating” is a relatively new concept, with arranged marriages traditionally representing the overwhelming majority of marriages.
If you’ve decided to seek a love match rather than an arranged one, here are some things to consider:
Sikh Dating: Go Online
Matrimonial sites are thriving, as are group-dating sites. Are you looking for something serious? Does spiritual compatibility mean a lot to you? Are you hoping to find someone who shares traditional values, or are your own values and ideas considerably more liberal than those of your upbringing?
Sikh Dating: State Your Intentions
With arranged marriage, intentions are very clear. This clarity often extends into Indian dating, with men stating their intentions, but don’t assume this will be automatic. If the man you’re dating isn’t clear about what he’s looking for, ask him. Casual dating, sex, marriage and family are all issues that can quickly determine the direction — and potential success — of a relationship.
Historically, women had little say in their own matrimonial destinies. By opting to date instead of have her future handed to her, a Hindu woman is taking initiative in finding her Mr. Right on her terms. She might still seek a traditional Sikh man, or she might want a man who respects her identity, independence and who has a more egalitarian idea of marriage. Essentially, communicating expectations — on both sides — will help get the relationship off to a healthy start.
Sikh Dating: Be Patient
Dating takes time. Don’t rush the process, or expect a perfect match just because you’re culturally compatible. Likewise, don’t expect families to immediately get on board with your dating life, especially if you’re choosing to date someone outside of their expectations for your future.
Be patient and respectful of parents who seem hesitant to embrace your relationship, and of parents who expect your romance to quickly escalate to engagement.
Family is highly valued in Hindu culture, with marriage considered to be a matter of karmic destiny. Be respectful of this. Consider honoring your date’s traditional father by asking for his permission or at least his blessing to date his daughter.